An F.L.S. Shell
The best part about John's humor is that he injected it into situations
when you didn't expect it. I remember well the time John came back east
to see me and Mel. We had been to the airport to pick him up and he
was very weak from the trip and humidity. Mel had to carry him from
the car up to our little beach house in Norfolk, Virginia. When John
got inside he said, "I think I saw an FLS shell outside by the
porch when we were coming in. I just read about them in the National
Geographic the other day." Well, I had not seen John for just about
a year and I had forgotten to be "on guard." (I think he mentioned
it could be worth some money.) John described the shell and Mel ran
out to get it and when Mel showed it to him, he then confirmed that
in fact it was an FLS shell. (FLS, according to John, stood for funny
little shell.)
Arms Length
We learned young in life to stay out of John's reach if we had made
him angry. We knew he couldn't catch us if we ran but because of the
type of dystrophy he had, his lower arms, wrists and hands remained
very strong. If he got a hold a you it was curtains until you repented
or he showed you mercy.
A Little "Shower" in the Tub
As little folks, Margaret and I remember being in the tub together
and John walking by the bathroom not being able to resist the temptation
to come in a tease us. He did this by getting the sink plug full (imagine
how much water a sink plug could hold) of cold water to throw at us.
We usually had mother summoned before he could throw it at us -------
what good are little sisters if you can't tease them?
If You Don't Get Up I'm....
On occasion, John was assigned the unpleasant task of calling us for
school some mornings. We slept downstairs so all he could do was yell
at us from the top of the staircase. At the bottom of the stairs before
turning into our room was the washer. John used this on mornings when
we refused to listen to him as a big, white, metal target. He would
throw empty coke cans down the stairs and let them bounce, rattle, roll
and finally bang into the washer. This made a great alarm. On occasion,
when this failed, he had a great back-up plan. During one of his biology
"kicks", he found a cocoon shaped thing in the window and
so he put it in a jar and it "hatched" one day. A million
little spiders now filled the jar and sometimes this was held at the
top of the staircase in a threatful manner if we didn't get up.
Idle Threats
John was fond of teasing Margaret about her idle threats. Margaret
would get frustrated with him and say, "You're really gunna get
it." Later she would be heard saying, "You've had it."
Years later John would remind her that he must have missed it because
nothing ever happened in between "gunna get it" and "had
it."
Staring Who?
There are many more examples of John's ability to keep life around
the house full of fun. We all enjoyed the times when John would read
mom the T.V. guide at her request. He would begin to tell her about
a movie and its stars and co-stars. Before John would get it all read,
he would throw in to a list of very credible actors and actresses someone
totally out of character for that movie like Lassie or Lon Chaney and
then we'd all wait for mom to "yell" at him for teasing her.
It was great fun.
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